Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Why Can't I Keep a Secret?!?

I guess its not a horrible problem that I have such wonderful friends that I simply cannot keep a secret this big from them.  Danny too, he fessed up that he had called his friend Levi and told him.  So Saturday when I was talking to Stephanie and was literally biting my lip to keep from telling her, Danny nodded and told me to go ahead.  I am so glad I did!  I was really nervous about going to the doctor all by myself on Thursday.  Danny has to work and it was the latest appointment I could get.  I knew there would be a thousand things I should say, ask, and think about, but when I got there, would stare at the doctor, blank and dumb.  Stephanie called this afternoon and offered to go with me!  After all, I went with her when we were 19 and scared outta our minds, now its a decade later (not quite, but close!) and I am still scared.  All I know is that I want this baby to be healthy.  And I want to know how far along I am.  Apparently it is calculated by the first day of your last period which makes absolutely no sense to me and is no help to me at all... I don't keep track of those things, I was always so irregular it was pointless to try.  So in knowing the 3 times it could have happened, plus guestimating using the calculators and information I have gathered online, I am anywhere from just over 4 weeks to almost 7 weeks along.  Lets hope for the former, I still have to fit in my wedding dress in December and I would love to wait to tell everyone until after we are Mr. and Mrs. Easterling.  On the other hand, a digital test apparently takes longer to show up (you have to be at least 3 weeks) and with all the naseau and morning sickness, headaches and unexplained exhaustion, the latter is more likely. 

I am blissfully happy though.  The thought that I have a small human growing inside of me is extremely exciting!  I'm so curious but at the same time I want to be surprised.  Danny wants to know the sex of the baby, part of me does not.  I don't want to receive all pink or all blue at showers!  I'm scared of twins!  Apparently there is a history of twins in Danny's family.  I know we want alot of kids and I'm not getting any younger so twins might be a good thing, but I would rather have the 2nd and 3rd be twins or the 3rd and 4th.  There can be somewhat of a learning curve that way.  We are so blessed that I am sure it will work out however it is meant to, but I cannot help but wonder and worry.  Wow, reading back over this I realize how tired I am and that I am really beginning to ramble. 

We got our camera last night!  After weeks of exhausting research, Danny finally decided on the Nikon D3000.  Its pretty cool, its just intimidating to me.  I can't wait to learn to use it and start posting fabulous pictures to enhance my meaningless ramblings!

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